Adjustments

I've been sick for days. I caught a nasty cough/cold at the end of last week that has knocked me on my butt. Mostly because I spend 22 out of 24 hours of the day coughing which wears me out. But I can't sleep because every time I lie down I start coughing again. Poor Josh is suffering right alongside of me as I keep him awake all night, so he went to the pharmacy and brought home every cough remedy known to mankind -- cough syrup, cough drops, herbal teas, and sore throat drops in every flavor. And he made me try them all. I'm not sure if it's working, but none of the foreign medicine has killed me yet, so that's encouraging. 

This turkey is finally getting used to going to her new school. I took this photo at a New Family party at the end of the first week of classes. This sweet little girl came up and was trying to be friends with Camille, but my Nervous Nellie was giving her the cold shoulder (preoccupied with all the worries inside her head). 

I know that Camille doesn't really warm up quickly to new people, but it turns out that not only is this girl in Camille's class, but they sit at the same table. The little sweetie told me, "I try to cheer her up when she's sad." Oh Lord, my daughter is such a head case. Please help her. 

I strongly encouraged Camille to act kindly toward someone who is clearly trying to be a friend to her (with a well timed glare) and I coaxed this better photo out of her. I'm hoping she doesn't alienate all of her potential friends by the time she's ready to make friends. 

And she was happy to put the first week behind her! The snake was her prize for making it to Thursday. Working on two phobias at once. Thankfully she has adopted the snake as the school mascot with much greater ease than I had hoped. (She used to not even be able to be in the same room as a fake snake or look at a snake picture in a book). 

Not crying, just melting. 

Even though moving has brought a lot of hardships, there is one GREAT thing that makes our new assignment well worth it. Josh's new job gives him so much more time at home and his work schedule is much more flexible. This photo makes me happy because it's actually Josh working, on a conference call, while Camille reads a book next to him. We haven't had anything resembling this in 4 years. 

We've still had some (lots of) tears about school. Usually at night before bed Camille starts crying and wants to message Josie and tell her that she misses her. 

Another happy update: my car arrived! This was a miserable day for me because I was sick and coughing and I really should have stayed at home, but I had to get my driver's license before my car was registered. Then once we were there I stuck around so I could drive my car home at the end of the registration process. It ended up taking a lot longer than we thought it would and after several hours of sitting by myself in the waiting room with random men and coughing all over everyone (while Josh was running around taking care of registration paperwork) I started sending him text messages about how I hated living in AD and was going to leave and go back to America and was taking Camille with me. 

Fortunately Josh has gotten his PhD in Crazy People and reacted like a professional Crazy Person Handler. When I looked back over our chat I laughed because I was all, "This country can kiss my ass" and he replied, "I know. We're almost done. Getting the license plates now." as if I had only suggested going for pizza and not threatened to leave the family and start a new life by myself. He just blew by it like it was No Big Deal. Well done babe, well done. 

At least now my car is parked in my driveway and I can go anywhere that I want -- except I'm too sick to want to go anywhere, so that's a bit of irony for you. 

Hoping that this was the last day of tears. She's been doing better once she's in class, but the morning routine and getting on the bus is still a struggle. This photo is from yesterday -- down to just a sniffle and teary eyes while boarding the bus. I promised if she can go from waking up in the morning and all through the school day with no tears then we will go back to the waterpark. I don't care how much it costs. If she can get comfortable with this transition, then it's completely worth it. This morning she left with a thumbs up and a smile, so I'm packing the pool bag . . . 

Yas, fun please.

Traveling back in time to last weekend, before school began. I had been feeling guilty ever since someone asked the boys, "what did you do this summer?" and their wry response was "We moved here." I realized that their summer vacation had been a bit lacking in the fun department and resolved to have at least one thing that they could look back on as a fun summer memory.

So after church on Friday we headed to Yas Waterworld. Too many waterslides to count, a wave pool, 3 different kid splash play areas, and a lazy river. 

 

We all needed a day that was just for fun -- no thinking about moving, school, or work for a change.

I left my camera in my bag while we played in the water all day. It was HOT, but the water was perfectly cooled. Meels and I played and rode slides in the kid's area while the boys all went to check out the big rides and see which ones Camille could handle. 

They overestimated her thrill-seeking capacity and said that one of the family rides would be fun for all of us. But when they weighed our group before loading us onto the 6 person raft, and told us where we needed to sit based on weight, I started to have doubts. Then we hit the first steep drop and flew straight down and Camille started bug-eyed screaming. They chose poorly. We all survived, but girlie was wary of all the other rides after that. We finally coaxed her on a "normal" inner-tube ride (doubles, so she didn't have to go alone) and then she forgave them and was a happy slider after that. 

This is the "don't touch me" face that immediately precedes the smiling Happy Family photo.

and then of course girlie had to jump into the photo and take over the spotlight

It was such a fun day that she was mad when we told her it was time to go home. She even wanted to go back on the "scary slide" one more time, but we told her we'd have to save it for our next visit. 

The park is open until 10pm on Fridays so people were still pouring in as we were heading home. I guess we aren't Gulf natives yet. When night falls I want to be on my couch with my feet up, not fighting masses of people in line at the waterpark. 

an apology

It's been a day. The girl vs. school saga continues. According to her teacher she is doing better in the classroom, but our start to each day has been going downhill rapidly. Begging and pleading to stay home, tears, and today we added screaming to the mix. 

She was a mess when we put her on the bus (and her problem is not the bus, it's just that she's making herself sick with worry about what is coming after the bus ride) and clung to Josh like a mussel on a rocky cliff. He was finally able to pry her hands from around his neck and shove her into the bus monitor's arms as he ran off. 

OK, fine, whatever. New things are hard for her. I can sympathize. I had a meeting at school during the day and peeked though a window a few times and she was playing with friends and not crying. Yay. 

But when the kids got home the boys reported that she cried all the way to school and then when it was time to get off the bus she started screaming that she wasn't going and holding on to the bus seat and the bus monitor had to unwrap her arms from around the seat and carry her off the bus. Oh hell no. Mama was pissed. You can be nervous, but you can't be a brat. 

First up: apology letter to the bus attendant, who doesn't get paid enough to deal with that kind of drama. Second: no more screaming. We have gone from earning rewards for good behavior to making poor behavior a punishable offense. I am done. 

Ending with a sunset -- it could almost be LA if it weren't for the Arabic signage. Happy today is over, but that means another morning bus ride is right around the corner. Oh, help.  

Beginning of the year

This about sums it up. I don't nap, but these days I crash. The kids went back to school yesterday, Josh and I have been married 19 years today, and we are all tired. Stupid tired. Mono tired. We haven't even done anything and we're tired, tired. 

I suppose it's the stress of the move catching up with us, but it feels a bit over the top. Josh's back is half broken, neither of us are sleeping very well in our loaner Queen size bed where we keep blaming the other person for being on our side and the dog for taking up the bottom third (yes, Dad, I know you and mom share a full sized bed, but you don't get any prizes for being crazy), and I think I've had a headache 5 out of 7 days this past week. I'm sure it's from not drinking enough water because the water comes out of the faucet warm (not room temperature, but hot/warm) and has to be chilled in the fridge, and by the time it's cold I'm not thirsty or the kids drank it because we can only find tiny pitchers to fit in our fridge and I hate drinking water anyway, and can't someone just give me an IV already so I don't have to be bothered with swallowing? 

We are happy. Just tired. And I keep thinking we have to move again in two years. My stuff hasn't even arrived yet and I'm already wondering how we're going to make it out of here. 

I'm also navigating having another person living in my house. For the most part, she is unnoticeable and a delight to have. But I'm not sure how much I should try and include her in our lives -- does she want to come watch TV with us? Does she even understand that I'm inviting her to watch TV with us? She says, "OK Madame. No problem, Madame," no matter what I say so I'm not sure when she gets it and when she doesn't. The language barrier also means that when she says things they come as directives and not requests. "We go now" instead of "Can we go now?" or "You buy this" instead of "would you mind buying this?" I have to reword them in my head so I don't bristle and feel like she's bossing me around.

And I'm tired of things being Not Quite Right. Thankfully the internet has been mostly fine, except that we can't get a signal upstairs through all our cement walls and Josh has tried for a month to get someone to come and run a wire upstairs. One guy came a few times and then dropped off the planet. Josh called him to follow up and he said. "I forgot you. Give me 10 minutes." and then never called back. The cable box to the TV (which we have because it's actually cheaper to get phone/internet/cable together than internet by itself. Seriously. Don't ask why. I don't understand it.) is buggy so we will be watching something and it will change channels all by itself, or it plays the picture from one channel with the sound from a previous channel, or I record something and it records for 2 minutes and then kicks off, or it tells me it can't record because it's already recording something else, but it's not. Someone came out last night and maybe fixed it? I'm not sure because I'm afraid to try it and end up aggravated all over again. 

The kids started school yesterday and that wore me out too -- we had orientation day with administration meetings for all 3 levels, plus the superintendent. Then PE uniforms to buy, classes to locate, and people to meet. All 3 boys are so excited and happy about their new school, but girlie is ready to go back to Bahrain. It has nothing to do with the new school, just that she hates new things and she's had way too many new things lately. She didn't cry at all when she started Kindergarten, but she cried all day in class yesterday and was already starting again as the bus approached school this morning. Her sweet teacher sent me a message that she tried to do her best all day, even through her tears. Today was day 2 of tears -- if she comes home with puffy, red-rimmed eyes again I'm going to have to try some other way to get her acclimated to school. 

Headed to ACS. Smiles on 3 out of 4 kids is a decent percentage. 

Olympic Rings

If you want to know what's going on at our house, sit on the couch, turn on the Olympics and let it run all day and into the night. Take short breaks for food and alternate your own Xbox football (soccer) competitions with watching the real thing. Cheer for America along with all the countries that never get any coverage -- especially Bahrain or any of the other GCC countries (Qtar, UAE, etc). Boo at all the Russians and yell "Doper!!" every time one comes on the screen. During boring "sports" like synchronized swimming, horse dancing, trampoline, or golf play Minecraft on your computer while you keep half an eye on the TV, checking all the different sports channels every now and then in case they are airing athletics (Britishism for Track and Field), weight lifting, volleyball, football, water polo, cycling, or any of the other more interesting (and real) sports.

Not because we love the Olympics in an unnatural way, but because the alternative experience would be for you to run around your neighborhood, douse yourself with the hose, and set a blowdryer on high angled right at your face. Throw a handful of sand in the air and let it rain down over you to round out the fun. We have a pool in our compound, but the water is hot so it feels sweaty both in and out of the water.

Trying to cool down with cold water from the water bottle. No chance of cooling off in the pool.

At least all this Olympic watching has created spirited competition between the boys. The 10 meter IM. Everyone wants to be Michael Phelps. 

Butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle. 

We last about 20 minutes at the pool, then retreat indoors. We're tired of hibernating, but that's life in August.

The third week

This week passed quickly, relatively speaking. I guess when you sleep in until 10 or 11am there's not a lot of time left in each day. We have blackout shades in all the bedrooms and they work a little too well. Poor Nanny gets up at whatever time and cleans the downstairs and then waits for us all to wake up so she can straighten up our bedrooms. (*** Josh is not on the lazy family summer schedule. He gets up and out around 6am or something like that. I'm not sure since I'm always sound asleep.) Not like there's a lot for her to do these days. It's pretty empty in here aside from a few pieces of furniture in each room. No explosion of toys and clothes to manage yet.

We are hitting our stride in these days of limbo. Wake up, eat brunch, watch Olympics -- we have amazing coverage, and hang out inside the house (because it's blistering outside) until Josh gets home. Then Josh and I go to the gym together, come home, eat dinner and more Olympics until we make the kids go to bed sometime before 11pm.

Add in some yelling to get off the computers, and some yelling to go to bed, and a million requests for junk food snacks from the mini-mart/cold store that is in our compound and that about sums up our days.

Thank God for IKEA. It's been my only real entertainment outside of the Olympics. Yes, it's money spent, but killing several hours trying out different pieces of furniture and picking up a few things for the house is priceless. We've been 3 times already. The key to success is only taking one child along instead of all 4. 

The face painting in the IKEA photo is because we went to a Lebanese restaurant for lunch last weekend and the sweet Filipina face painting lady was happy to decorate Camille. She tried to keep it on her body as long as possible.

Solving the problem of my kitchen with no counterspace. Thanks IKEA! Now when Nanny wants to help me cook I shouldn't feel like we're fighting over the same few inches of cutting board. I'm hoping that it makes it easier for me to have someone else in the kitchen. 

What I'd like her to do all day

versus what she actually does. 

(Pringles and lollipop from our neighborhood cold store that she bought with her Tooth Fairy money)

This is our Abu Dhabi. The walk around the corner to our mall and grocery store. So thankful that we can walk to resupply our perpetually empty refrigerator or I really would go crazy. 

Josh and I drive past the Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque on our way to work out every day. 

It is a huge, gorgeous building that is even more impressive in person. It reminds me of the Mormon Temple in Oakland, our own Disneyland castle (just bigger). 

Yesterday we went for our first set of meetings at the kids' new school. Camille was in tears and didn't want to go (even though the appointments were just for the boys) and we couldn't figure out why (except that she always cries about new things). We finally understood when she whispered 10 minutes into the tour, "There aren't any snakes here." Poor girl thought because the school mascot is a sand viper that there'd be snakes and pictures of snakes all over the place and her snake phobia was on high alert. 

One of the very nice counselors gave her a coloring sheet which kept her occupied the rest of the morning while we talked about class schedules, sports and high school senior stuff. Only 10 days until Calvin starts his last year of High School. 

My car supposedly left Bahrain yesterday and should be here in a few days. That doesn't mean that I'll get it in a few days, but at least we're one step closer.

A thin line between peace and apathy

Let me start by saying that I'm feeling better than I was at the end of last week, but I know I still have ups and downs ahead of me. Moving is hard. I forgot how hard it was last time, and the time before that . . . really, every time. These international moves are making our cross country moves feel like a piece of cake. Or maybe because I was younger then and had more energy/more flexibility and my sense of adventure hadn't been satisfied yet so it felt more tolerable. Or I'm just remembering it better than it actually was.

I remember one time I called my dad crying when we arrived in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. He told me to always keep my expectations low and I burst into tears all over again because I had, and it was even worse than that (a toll road to nowhere ending in pawn shops and strip joints was not an awesome introduction, but we grew to love it anyway).

I've always said I'd be willing to move wherever the job takes us and wherever Josh wants to go, but I'm not so sure about that these days. That shack in Iraq isn't looking so appealing right now and I'm not feeling too resilient. The way to survive a life that I can't control is to say that I'll be OK with whatever happens. No need to get frustrated or mad because "God is in control." Except that same inshallah attitude can easily slip into, "why bother getting out of bed? Nothing I do makes a difference anyway . . ."

I'm trying to make the days matter, but we are still in limbo. I'm so thankful that we didn't have to go house hunting, but there have been some drawbacks to moving right into our home here. First off, I don't have a purpose. When we arrived in Bahrain Josh started working right away, and my job was to find our house. We landed and I had a task to accomplish. It was a frustrating task, and it wasn't easy, but it was a goal to achieve -- something to work toward.

The other difference is that when you arrive and land in a hotel, you don't expect to be able to get settled right away. It's still part of the transition. Here I expected to move into our house and start operating as normal. But nothing is normal. I don't have my stuff and I have loaner kitchen equipment so when I go to cook I'm trying to slice onions with a very dull knife on a flimsy cutting board and then I realize that I only have salt and pepper in the cupboard because I forgot to buy any seasoning or garlic at the store and where is my tzatziki seasoning that makes everything taste magical?

Over the weekend we bought a decent cutting board and a sharp knife (the pains of military moves -- we always end up buying things we already own while waiting for our shipment to arrive) and I'm working on restocking my pantry so I can go back to cooking via inspiration from my cupboards. FYI, cornmeal is nowhere to be found and "corn flour" is actually corn starch. Thankful for Amazon to fill in the gaps. Baby steps.

shadow

It's a good thing that our house is big because there have been a lot of people in it this week. If I didn't have spaces to escape to I might start feeling claustrophobic. Starting with an endless stream of maintenance workers, trailing up and down the stairs to the roof and back. They are finally installing the new compressor today so my AC will work downstairs. The crew has been here all morning and will be back again after lunch. Please be done already and go away.

The dog has become glued to my side once again. He has overcome his fear of the unknown new house and parks himself at my feet, at the foot of my bed, on the bed, and nose to knee as I walk up the stairs. Where I go, he goes. I should have named him Ruth. I had a few days of freedom as he was scared to come upstairs and slept with the kids instead of in my room, but now he's back to opening all the doors in the house and tracking me down like he's Prince Charming and I'm the maiden in distress. I've tried locking him out, but the wifi in my bedroom doesn't work through the closed door and my desire to fall asleep to the sweet sounds of Judge Judy in my ear trumps my distaste of the dog in my bed. At least he has learned to wait until I fall asleep to gently climb up on the bed and get as close to me as possible without waking me up. 

The kids are here 24/7. I'm happy they aren't in school and I'm happy to have them around, but it drives me crazy to see them on electronics all day and all night long. But what else do I have to offer them? 2 of them have bikes (cheapies that we bought at a Walmart-esque store), but a few laps around the compound and they are beet red and dripping with sweat. I tell them to take the dog for a walk, but he's been walked so many times that he keeps trying to make a break for home (and back to his first love). I suggested the pool today, but they pointed out that it's brown outside -- a sandy, dusty haze has settled on us. It's probably not great to be breathing all that in when 3 of the 4 have nasty colds already. They have some books, but heaven forbid they actually read for fun. Normally, I'd assign them cleaning jobs around the house, but because we have hired live-in house help, there's nothing left to do. And when I tell them to do things, she sweeps in and does as much of it as possible herself (which I understand, because it's her job, but . . . ) 

taking their bikes to the grocery store

Just because you started riding a bike two days ago, does not mean I'm going to buy you Tour jerseys

It's been a week since Nanny (not her name) moved in and she is quiet, unobtrusive and a great cleaner/help, but it does feel a bit like I'm becoming irrelevant in my own house. We are in a special situation because she's new to the country and new to the housemaid thing and she has a sister who lives in the neighborhood and is overseeing her work. She wants her to do everything so that she has the proper training for the future when she may work for someone who will expect her to do everything. But it makes me feel a bit ridiculous to have someone hovering and wanting to help with whatever I'm cooking every time I'm in the kitchen or washing my knife after I cut an apple. 

We went to the grocery store together and Nanny's sister made her push the cart for me and when we finished and had bagged all the groceries I started handing some of the bags to the boys to help carry as we walked home. The sister took all the bags and said, "No madame, we will carry." No matter how much I protested that I could carry at least one bag, it wasn't happening. So to anyone walking or driving by, I looked like the typical expat -- white woman strolling along, unencumbered, with two black women following behind, loaded down like pack mules. I don't even know what to do with that image. I was dying inside. 

So yeah, that's my life these days. Sit around my too cold house supervising maintenance workers and reading FB and world news while the dog watches over me and my staff of servants does all the work around the house. Then Josh comes home and we go to the gym and work out together for an hour which is terrible (the working out part, not the together part) and then go home, eat dinner and then yell at the kids to go to bed for the next 2 hours because they aren't tired because all they did was sit around all day with their faces in screens. 

The Lebanese restaurant near our house -- Carter thinks we need to make this a weekly trip. 

The fresh bread and all the mezze were the best!

Where we are when we aren't at home -- our compound is only a few hundred yards away. Restaurants, grocery store, Starbucks and Cold Stone, a little bit of everything. It's how I'm surviving. 

The last supper

It was a week of lasts: last time at church, last swim at the British Club, last time on base, last breakfast in the hotel. . . everywhere we turned we were faced with another ending. 

Except the heat -- the heat is never ending.

Last visit to the British Club to swim and have dinner. Yes, there's a British Club in AD, but we can't afford to be members. It's crazy expensive. (The cost for one person is more than 3xs what we pay for our family membership here.)

One last time hanging out with Josie. They've been missing each other all week and sending messages to each other. 

Carter, giving me duckface with his post surgery puffy lip. 

Yes, she's sad about leaving Bahrain

Friends stopped by our hotel for one last goodbye. They've been here a year longer than we have and Caleb and Kobe have been friends since we arrived and they were in the same class at school. This past year Camille and Talia have been kindergarten besties too. We will miss them. 

And then it was time for our final dinner. Josh and I have a favorite Japanese restaurant that we started going to about 6 months ago. On Saturday nights they have all you can eat sushi, sashimi, and other amazing Japanese dishes. The kids have been begging to go with us, but it's not cheap. We decided that we would take them for Caleb's birthday and to celebrate the end of a great 4 years.

They all love sushi. Sashimi is my favorite (and Josh's), but the kids preferred their raw fish with rice and seaweed. Other favorites were the ginger beef, tempura prawns, kimchi beef, fried chicken with ginger sauce . . . I could list the entire menu. No bad choices. 

She ordered a coke on the sly and was so pleased when the waiter brought it to her. 

She also had to use the restroom at one point and I asked if she had to go right then because I didn't want to try to get out from where I was sitting at the table. The hostess overheard and offered to take her for me. That is typical of staff here -- they carry kids around the restaurant, give them special attention, and spoil them any chance they get. 

We laughed all night. 

They asked us if we were coming for a special occasion when we made our reservation (since we were bringing the kids this time) and when they found out it was Caleb's birthday, they offered to bring him a cake -- amazing chocolate mousse on top of dark chocolate cake. Everything else they make is top notch, so I shouldn't have been surprised by how good it was. 

Caleb said his terrible birth day earlier in the week was fully redeemed by our dinner out. 

We are ready to start our next adventure together! 

Bye, bye Bahrain . . .